No B.S. Coaching: Jeanell Greene's Approach to Personal Growth and Authenticity

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Episode Description

\nWhat if you had everything you ever wanted in life and found out it wasn't enough?Jeanell Greene was a high-achieving corporate sales rep with a 6 figure income and a 20-year career.  Yet in her heart, she knew she was being called to do more.Ultimately, she decided to confront her darkest fears, leave her corporate career, and open herself up to pursuing a more fulfilling career - even though at that time, she didn't know what that career would be.Jeanell explains how she was able to get clear about what she truly wanted, open herself up to new possibilities, and learn to listen to the small voice buried within her. (Jeanell also used this same process to amicably divorce her first husband and eventually manifest the husband of her dreams, to whom she is happily married today.)Now, as a marriage and relationship coach Jeanell uses her experience and expertise to guide her clients to create new possibilities in their lives, both personally and professionally. Her direct and honest coaching method (which she calls \"No B.S. Coaching\") helps her clients get real with themselves and create deep, fulfilling relationships and lives that are in alignment with their true desires.\n\n\n

Show Notes

\nAbout Jeanell Jeanell  is a Marriage and Life Coach helping couples on the brink of divorce save their marriage and heal from generational trauma. Jeanell is on a mission to bring more love and healing to the world and loves sharing her touching stories of love and loss and is proof that having the relationship of your dreams is possible when we take full responsibility for our own emotional wounds and conquer our fears. \n\n Connect with JeanellYou can connect with Jeanell on Facebook at WingWoman Hero, LinkedIn at Jeanell Greene and on Instagram at Save our Marriage. To learn more about Jeanell and the services she offers, visit her website at Jeanell Greene where you can also sign up for a free 1-hour consultation.  \n

Key Takeaways From This Episode with Jeanell

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• Jeanell Greene was successful in corporate sales but felt unfulfilled and left her job in her 40s to find more meaning and purpose. She took time to get clear on her values and create the life she wanted.
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• She went through a difficult divorce from her first husband after realizing soon after their marriage that they weren't a good fit. This was hard for her as a Filipino Catholic.
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• Jeanell realized she played a role in the problems in her first marriage. She took responsibility for her part rather than blaming her ex-husband. This allowed her to complete the marriage respectfully.
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• She is now a relationship coach who helps both individuals and couples. Her approach is direct and focuses on taking responsibility, having self-compassion, and doing the hard personal work needed to create change.
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• Jeanell believes we need to honor and accept all parts of ourselves, both light and dark. She had to overcome always being the \"good girl\" to do her own shadow work.
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• Her message is that life's challenges make us stronger and failure is not fatal. We have the power to create the life we want through doing the hard inner work.
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Transcript

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No B.S. Coaching:  Jeanell Greene's Approach to Personal Growth and Authenticity

\nJeanell Greene\n\nSUMMARY KEYWORDS\n\nGrowth, responsibility, change\n\nSPEAKERS\n\nKaren Covy, Jeanell Greene\n\nKaren Covy Host00:002\n\nHello and welcome to Off the Fence, a podcast where we deconstruct difficult decision making so that we can help find out what keeps us stuck and, more importantly, how do we get unstuck. I'm your host, Karen Covey, a former divorce lawyer, mediator and arbitrator, turned coach, author and entrepreneur. With me today is my guest, Jeanell Greene. Jeanell is a marriage and life coach, helping couples on the brink of divorce save their marriage and heal from generational trauma. Jeanell is on a mission to bring more love and healing to the world and loves sharing her touching stories of love and loss, and she's proof that having the relationship of your dreams is possible when we take full responsibility for our own emotional wounds and conquer our fears. Jeanell, welcome to the show.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest\n\nThanks, Karen. Thanks for having me.\n\nKaren Covy Host\n\nI am excited about our conversation, but I want to start by taking you back before you were a marriage and relationship coach, when you were in corporate. How did you make the shift out of corporate and into a different way of life?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest\n\nThat's a really great question. I would say it started around the time I turned 40. I think for a lot of people around that time, life spirit whatever you want to call it starts knocking. I think up until that point I had been a really successful software sales rep mid-management, got to travel the world. I even won a top producers trip to Bermuda. I got to bring my husband for a week and we got to spend an incredible week together. Then the year after that I went on a trip to Rome where we got to go to the Vatican and cook pasta beside people who didn't speak English, and that Nona who showed us how to make the pasta. It was amazing. Even then, four days after I came home from my Bermuda trip, I left. I decided to resign. People thought I was crazy because I was at the top of the food chain. Really, I just got back from this really amazing trip.\n\n02:24\n\nYet there was something inside of me that was gnawing at my soul. I didn't at the time know what it was. I just knew that something was about to happen. There was sort of like I wanted more.\n\n02:38\n\nI think a lot of us. We worked so hard to get to the top of the mountain. Then we get there and we look around and we're like, okay, now what? Or we get there and we're like, okay, this is not what I thought. It would feel like we're constantly chasing this ghost. Almost I didn't know what that ghost was trying to tell me. I really took the time to sit with it and go okay, what is it that my intuition is trying to tell me? What am I not listening?\n\n03:16\n\nBecause what I noticed was I was waking up, feeling miserable. I was hitting the snooze button like 10 times and I would show up to work and feel like I was kind of just a shell of myself. I had this mask on with a big smile and I looked at the part and I had the confidence. Yet, if I'm really honest with you, I didn't feel like it was authentically me that was showing up. I started to inquire about that with myself. I'm going okay, well, Jeanell, what if you could live another life and you could reborn and do this whole life all over again? What would you do? I think turning 40 was the perfect time to really assess that, to really look at okay, what have the last 40 years of my life looked like? What have I accomplished Then okay, well, what does that look like if I really actually want to level up, If I actually took that the second half of my life is not the decline of my life, but rather actually just the start point, what actually would be possible?\n\nKaren Covy Host04:19\n\nYeah, I want to interrupt you for a second and ask when did you start having that conversation with yourself? Was that before you decided to leave corporate, or did that come after you said this is it?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest04:37\n\nI think I felt it Like you know, you just there's like almost like this premonition, that you feel like there's something about to happen do you know what I mean?\n\n04:45\n\nYeah, it's almost like smelling the rain before it hits, it's kind of that. But I didn't really know. I couldn't make sense of it. All I knew was that there was this. If I could imagine it, if I could put a visual to it, it was almost like I was standing in front of this door and this door had this light shining behind it and I know I'm supposed to go through the door but I actually don't know what's on the other side, because I've been on this side for so long. But I felt like a calling, it was like pulling me and I was curious. But I was really afraid because I had built this amazing career for the last 20 years of my life and now I'm going to start all over again, and so that was really scary.\n\nKaren Covy Host05:27\n\nThat is really scary. So I'm curious about how you got the courage to open that door and walk through and let go of a 20 year career. That's not easy to do.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest05:39\n\nNo, well, the first thing I had to deal with and this is such a perfect entry into this conversation, because I think a lot what we're talking about applies to other areas of life what I had to get real with was my fear, and I had to confront the parts of my life that I had been telling myself that it was OK, like I should be happy, I shouldn't complain about this job. I'm making six figures, I'm doing something I'm great at. I should just be content. And yet my soul was like Jeanell, you're meant for so much more, but I didn't know what the more was, and so I felt like I actually had to quit my job to actually hear the voices that are edging me, because the job was such a golden handcuffs kind of job and it was very hard to leave. They had profit sharing, they had these trips, and so it was, even if you weren't happy, you were kind of like felt to, I'll just wait until I get that that promotion, till I get that bonus, until I get that trip, then I'll leave, and then you actually never leave.\n\n06:49\n\nAnd so I could see myself being almost like handcuffed to this, to this role, and so I knew that I had to do something really bold and a little crazy to actually break through that, and I had to deal with all of my who do? I think I am, I don't deserve it, I'm unworthy, all of these stories that had built up through my whole life, through the trauma that I have dealt with, so that I could give myself compassion and love and forgiveness and give myself permission to actually start all over and get rid of the voices that say Jeanell, you're too old to start something new Coaching and no one makes money in coaching. It has to be a part time thing. You can't, you can't do this full time. Who do you think you are to want to change 10 million lives? That's just crazy talk. So all of that I had to confront before I could actually step into the new Jeanell 2.0 that needed to exist. Who is going to fulfill this commitment and this huge task and calling that I was called to.\n\nKaren Covy Host07:52\n\nBut when you left corporate at that point, did you just know that you needed to leave corporate and level up? As you said, go on to the next thing without knowing what that next thing was? Or did you know at that point that you wanted to be a coach?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest08:09\n\nNo, I definitely didn't know that in that point, so I had left, so I went on this trip I went to Rome and I came back.\n\n08:18\n\nI actually got head hunted for another job that was offering me $40,000. And at this point I already kind of knew something was up. But of course, at that time, like, oh, it's nothing, that's just a temporary feeling, it'll go away. And so I took this role, which offered me more money. I traveled even more, but that voice got even louder, until a point it got so insufferable that I actually just quit with no plan B.\n\n08:44\n\nI was like I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I just know this isn't it. And this actually has no integrity. For me and I think that's part of it is that sometimes we know what our truth is and we don't listen to it. We don't listen to that intuition. And so it was the time for me to really listen, because I could feel it all over me, and to a point that I couldn't avoid it anymore. I just had to like OK, I got to sit and listen and choose. And so then I spent the next six months just almost wiping my slate clean and going OK, if this was a new life of mine, how do I want this to go? And so I really spent time designing, curating, imagining, manifesting the life I want.\n\nKaren Covy Host09:33\n\nBecause this is how I manifested my husband.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest09:36\n\nSo I took the same philosophy and I just sat.\n\n09:38\n\nAnd I just sat in that energy of like, what is Jeanell's life supposed to look like and what would make me happy? And so I had to get really clear about what my values were, and I saw for myself freedom was my number one value. It wasn't money, it was freedom. And so I thought, ok, well, how can I create a business that I get to be free to be myself, free to love the way I want to love, free to have a business I have and free to pick my clients? And then it was why does the gift that only Jeanell can bring to the world, what makes me so unique? That is un-duplicatable. And so that's how I built this business that I have, and it just feels so good and so authentic, and so me. And so I really get to show up so powerfully for my clients and even within the first five minutes of a conversation I can feel that connection with them because there's nothing, I have nothing in the way when I'm with these people and I can create the safe space.\n\nKaren Covy Host10:38\n\nNow let's go from there. That's the perfect segue into your coaching. You call yourself a no BS relationship coach. What does that mean?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest10:51\n\nWell, I think that there's enough sugarcoating and being nice in the world and I don't think transformation exists there. I hold my clients big. I don't think of them as something wrong with them. I don't look at them as broken. I don't look at them as good or bad, right or wrong.\n\n11:09\n\nAs a coach, I am there to create new possibility in ways that they've never seen possible, and I can't do that when I'm entertaining the way that they think they feel about themselves. I got to actually hold a bigger space for them to step into. Okay, yeah, and so it's really about being so straight with them that they're going to hear things about. They're going to hear things from me that no one else is going to have the balls to say to them, and it's the truths that they've been waiting to hear. And if they can't hear it, then they're not my client, but my clients. When they come to me, they're like yes, finally someone who gives us the goods. And I'm like I don't sugarcoat, I'm super direct and that's why I can give my clients the results that I give them, because there's no BS.\n\nKaren Covy Host12:02\n\nWhat kind of results do you bring? What do you do as a coach? Do you work? Well, maybe we should start here before we even get to that question. Are you primarily a coach for individuals or couples?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest12:13\n\nI'm about 50-50. It's all about relationships. Half of my clients are couples that are typically from divorced parents and are very fearful of repeating the same cycle that their parents went through, and they're really committed to not repeating that cycle. The other half of my clients are individuals who are either leaving a marriage or thinking about leaving a marriage or have left, and maybe it's even grief that they're dealing with that transition. So they're just really looking for someone to help clarify what's going on for them and how they can move through that space easier. And sometimes it's like they're actually looking for a reinvention of themselves. They've been this identity called mom, wife for so long, and now that they're transitioning out of that, they don't actually don't know who they are anymore, and so they're looking for someone to really help them create that powerfully.\n\nKaren Covy Host13:13\n\nAnd so when you're working with clients, what's your process? How do you help them see that, get that transformation, make that change?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest13:25\n\nYeah, really great question. I think the first thing that's so important is creating a space that there's nothing wrong that, whatever they're dealing with, is normal that they're not the only ones, that it's not their faults.\n\n13:38\n\nWe were never taught how to communicate, to connect and to empathize and to understand. We were taught, if we think about our school system. We were taught to win, to dominate, to judge, to defend, to justify. But those skill sets don't really work in a marriage, in a romantic relationship, where a safe space and communication and understanding and support is number one. It's not about being right or wrong, and I think that's something to habit that we need to break, and that's one of the things that my husband has really taught me is this sort of no blame philosophy, like even when I break a glass, it's not my fault, it's both of us cleaning up that glass together, or at least him saying, hey, are you okay? Rather than oh, my God, you broke that glass, yeah, yeah, right, and identifying.\n\n14:37\n\nHow did we actually grow up, especially when we come from third-world countries? There is a certain kind of belief system, usually around scarcity, around very strong cultural lines that a lot of times don't work for us as adults anymore. They work as children, but now we're like, okay, well, how do I transition out of that? So for me, I'm a Catholic, Filipino, good girl, straight A student obedient yes, ma'am, kind of girl, good girl. And then I went through my divorce and that just rocked my family's world because that was something Jeanell would never do, right, and so it was like trying to be okay with being this other person.\n\nKaren Covy Host15:21\n\nYeah, tell me about that. How did that fit into your timeline? So you're in corporate, you're doing all the right things, you're on the top of your game, on the top of your career. At that point, were you married to husband number one, husband number two, or were you single?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest15:39\n\nAt that point. No, I was with Michael. I've been with Michael for 18 years. I got married the first time around 26. It was around the same time my dad passed away and in hindsight what I can say about that is I think I got married for the wrong reasons. Like a lot of women, I think I was just. It was more avoiding being alone rather than actually about finding the right fit.\n\nKaren Covy Host16:07\n\nSo once you realized that you had the wrong fit, how did you deal with that? As you said, being a Filipino Catholic, divorce is not something that was part of your reality at that point. Your parents could not have been excited to hear that news, let alone the rest of your community. How did you make that decision and then deal with it?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest16:34\n\nIt was a hard decision. It was a really hard decision. I think that what helped me was I had such a clear vision of what I wanted. So I grew up in a beautiful home. My parents were extremely affectionate. They did everything together church cleaning, they even had a business together, and so for me, that was the vision that I had, like I had no question about it.\n\n17:03\n\nAnd so when we got married, it was almost like he had been wearing a mask this whole time, and as soon as we came back from our honeymoon, this mask came off and who showed up was a totally different person. It was almost like I'm going to do everything I can to get for us to get married and once it's done, I'm done. I don't have to work, I don't have to put effort, I can just sit back and do nothing. And that was for me. It was actually the opposite, like I really wanted him to step up, and so I wasted a lot of energy resisting him, resisting the way he was.\n\n17:40\n\nHe grew up with a mom who took care of the house, never worked a day in her life here I was running my own business, right, and I wasn't a great cook. I was 25. My mom cooked everything. I wasn't a great cleaner and so I was doing all this extra stuff to try to be the wife that I thought I should be and I didn't feel like I had a partner and it was a very lonely experience and I knew within probably three months of being married to this man that I don't think this is it, and it was a very hard reality to swallow.\n\nKaren Covy Host18:11\n\nIt is a really hard reality and I'm curious. So you figured out at month number three that this was not what you had signed up for. This wasn't the person you thought you had been. You had been married. How long did it take? How long were you married and did you finally get divorced?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest18:31\n\nI want to say about three years. We were married, but we were together for a total of, I think, six.\n\nKaren Covy Host18:38\n\nOkay.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest18:38\n\nIt's yours and sorry. What was the second question?\n\nKaren Covy Host18:41\n\nSo you were married, for you were married for three years, so it took you like, after three months you knew this, wasn't it? Yeah, but it took almost another three years then to finally get out. Yeah, what, in that time period, what were you struggling with? What kept you from just saying no, this is like I'm sorry, I made a mistake. This isn't working, I'm done.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest19:07\n\nYeah, well, my whole life I've always made things work. I've always been like a straight, a student. And so I'm back in my mind, I'm like I can make anything work. And so things started to fall apart pretty much the week after we came home from our honeymoon. But I'm like no, I can do this, I can do this. I just need to work harder. I just need to do all these things.\n\n19:29\n\nBut what I started to notice, and what the people around me started to notice, is I started to change and I was putting up and tolerating things that the real Jeanell would have never tolerated or put up with. And when my sister pointed that out to me, she's like you would never do that, like why, you know? I really started to see okay, this person is rubbing off on me and it's not a good one. It's actually yeah, it's actually very dangerous, and I didn't like who I was becoming. I stopped loving myself and because our sex life wasn't great, I really started to take that personally and thinking am I unworthy? Am I not attractive? Have I already used up all of my hot, sexy time of my life? And now I'm kind of in this decline when it comes to my sex drive. But that actually wasn't it and I was like, oh no, this is definitely still intact. But it took time for me to finally admit to myself the hard truth, and I think that's for a lot of people.\n\nKaren Covy Host20:35\n\nWe don't want to fangle 100%, and what you're saying is so important for people to hear because I know my clients, the people that I talk to. Everybody thinks they're the only one and no one else. This doesn't happen to anyone else. They're the weirdo and everybody else is normal, and so they try to keep it quiet and they end up staying, often for long past the time when they knew they should leave. So what you're saying is that you went through the same thing.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest21:13\n\nYeah, yeah, and it wasn't until I did the work. I went and got into a seminar and I did the work on me, because up until this point it was his fault. He's a terrible husband. I'm the victim. I felt dull, I felt conned, I felt like he misrepresented himself and I was bitter about it because I'm like I had one chance to get married and you took that and now you're screwing it up. I was very righteous and then I did this course and I just got a rude awakening to the point, to the fact that I am responsible for the condition of my marriage. That is on me as much as it is on him.\n\nKaren Covy Host21:57\n\nOkay and say more about that. How did you go from? You stole my one chance. I'm bitter, I'm angry at you. It's all your fault. How did you get from there to the realization that you played a role in this as well, and you were. You had to take responsibility.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest22:16\n\nYeah, the first thing I can recall is going into my childhood. So I was speaking to a coach about this. I said you know, here's my issue. I feel like I can't trust him. And the first question she asked me was take me back to when you were six, seven, eight years old. Who broke your trust?\n\n22:38\n\nI was like, oh, I didn't even think that there was a parallel to my childhood and all of a sudden, memories of my father leaving at the age of nine because he cheated on my mom came rushing back to me and I had kind of felt I thought that I had dealt with it already because it had been so long and my dad had passed away. I thought I had found closure, but what I saw was that I actually had still some emotional wounds from my dad abiding us me. And what I discovered doing the seminars I made, that nine year old that day, watching her dad leave, made three decisions. She decided I'm unlovable, I can't trust people and everybody I love will leave me. So, fast forward, as I'm going through the rolodex in my mind of all of my relationships and the quality of them and why I chose them, I really saw was like, oh wow, I chose these people because A I didn't think I could get any better.  I thought that's what I was worthy of. And see, I actually just let people treat me however they wanted to treat me, because I didn't. Actually, I wasn't connected to my own self-worth. And so when I saw that that those wounds hadn't actually been dealt with and that how I was behaving to my husband at the time was a reflection of that, now I can actually take responsibility for how I was showing up.\n\n24:02\n\nAnd so what happened was I got to finally sit down with him and I apologized to him and I said you know what? I am so sorry for the way I treated you. I have been mean and judgmental, like I just took full responsibility for my behavior, and I said you know what? You are perfect the way you are. It just doesn't work for me, and I'd like to. I'd like to complete this marriage, and what was so beautiful about it is that we got to go to the divorce courts. We got to the law courts together, the same car. We signed the papers side by side. It cost us $80 to complete our marriage. We went out for dinner afterwards and then, before I got out of the car. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and said good luck, and that was it. That was it and I. You know what's so amazing about the story if you don't hear it is that that was not going to happen, had I not taken, done the work.\n\nKaren Covy Host24:58\n\nIt would have been a full on brawl.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest25:01\n\nHow dare you like? I would have just played it out and tried to milk it for all it was. But no, I was like no, this is my, this is my mess that I created. I chose to be in this relationship. I did not behave the kind, like the kind of person I know myself to be and I need to take it. I need to take responsibility for that.\n\n25:19\n\nBut to add another layer to this, Karen, what I saw was that I had expectations. When you're asking me, like, how do I move, I saw that I had expectations of this man that he could never fulfill. What do you mean? What would say more about that? Yeah, Like my this picture that I had with my mom and dad.\n\n25:41\n\nIf I was really honest with myself, I knew in the beginning that he could never be that. It wasn't in his, in his being, and I was trying to change him to be that kind of person and I know he wanted to be that for me. But at the end of the day, he is who he is and I just had to accept that that's who he was. He was not that guy who was gonna cook with me. He wasn't that guy that was gonna help me clean the house. No, he was the guy that just wanted to go to work, come home, grab a beer, sit on the couch and do nothing all day and all night. That's who he was, and the more I resisted that, the more I was hurting and resentful and bitter and I just had to get that. That's who he is, it just, and that's okay. It just doesn't work for me.\n\nKaren Covy Host26:30\n\nYeah, how did you? Though, when I talk to people about taking responsibility and that's something I speak with my clients about all the time, and I believe to the core of my being that we are responsible for our own lives but when I talk about responsibility, a lot of times people here blame. So how do you help people? Because when you're in that space of it's your fault, you're not being the way that you used to be, you're not the one who you know you changed. This is not what I signed up for. How do you get out of that blame of the other person, or even of yourself, and say wait a minute no.\n\n27:15\n\nI chose you and, for better or for worse, maybe I made a bad decision and now I have to fix it. I'm responsible for that, but I'm not a bad person because of it. You know what I mean.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest27:28\n\nAbsolutely Well. I wanna first address the question about responsibility. You're right, people hear responsibility. They hear blame, fault, obligation, pressure when I use the word responsibility. To me, being responsible is having the ability to respond, and you can't respond when you're in victim mode. You can't respond when you're like it's not my fault. You can't respond and have power when you have it like all the control is over there and you have no control whatsoever, which is BS, right, it's just the whole. I have no control. It's just more not wanting to be responsible, because it's hard to be responsible, because we actually have to look in the mirror and admit the parts of us that we don't like and the parts of us that didn't behave so awesome. And that takes courage, it takes willing to be compassionate for our own humanity and it takes forgiveness, and I think a lot of people were never taught how to do that, and so we get stuck in this vicious cycle of guilt and shame.\n\nKaren Covy Host28:36\n\nYep, 100%. So what is it taking? What if somebody came to you and said okay, Jeanell, I'm ready. I understand that my life is not where I want it to be. I wanna do that leveling up. I have no idea how. What can they? What's the first step? What can people start to do to break out of that cycle of guilt and shame and unhappiness so that they can create the life that they wanna have?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest29:07\n\nYeah, I'm gonna be really honest here and say you gotta do the hard stuff, which is okay. Let me take a step back. I think oftentimes we feel like we're not being respected because people overstep their boundaries with us. But the issue is, if we don't know who we are, we don't know our value system, we don't love ourselves. It is so easy for that to happen because we don't even know where that line that separates us between us and the other person.\n\n29:39\n\nAnd I find that women, or just people who are feeling stuck, it's often because they don't know who they are. Therefore, they can't even fathom what it is that they actually want in life, and so they spend more energy focused on what they don't want, on the resistance, on the pain and the suffering, rather than shifting that focus on well, okay, this sucks, but what do I want? And then, even if they do know what they want, well, how do I do that? How do I break free from my old paradigm into this new Jeanell 2.0? Right, and the honesty about that is that it is so hard to do that by ourselves, because we only know what we know, and what we're looking for is beyond what we already know.\n\nKaren Covy Host30:29\n\nBecause if we knew, that we would have already done it.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest30:32\n\nYeah, and clearly at this point, we've tried everything, we've hit the sort of plateau and we can't get any farther than that. Because whatever it is that we're dealing with is, if you want to call it a blind spot, and we can't see our own blind spot we need someone like your eye to come and look at it objectively, without all the emotional stuff, and just be really straight about what we see and what is the block. And so, as a coach, I think that's our job is to not judge them, but just to be able to point out like did you notice this? I heard you say this, did you, you know? Like really allowing them the space to get curious without making them wrong, and just really empowering this goal. Oh, okay, well, now that we know that this is what's in the way, let's work together to remove whatever that is. And so the shifts happen so quickly for them, and once they see one shift, they get really excited and then they're right okay, what's next? And then we just we build momentum from there.\n\nKaren Covy Host31:37\n\nAnd so it's super fun, that it sounds really fun, but it also sounds. I mean to be clear. You keep saying and I know this to be true it's work. Yeah, you know, and if you're not willing to do that work, you don't get to enjoy the rewards.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest31:57\n\nYeah, well, I think you know, like for me, I grew up good girl, straight A student, obedient, so it was very difficult for me to entertain my dark side to do the shadow work, because then I'm like, well, if I'm this person, how can I be both the light and the darkness? Because we were taught that we kind of put ourselves in these sort of like boxes. So what I've discovered, as in this work, is what if we were none of that and all of that? What if we were the light and the dark? And what if there was nothing wrong with that? Like? What if we actually honored the negative emotion? What if we honored our trauma and honored our fear? And I think we've just been taught that we have to be this positive person all the time and if we feel anything negative, there's something wrong with us, yeah, and so I think it's that's beautiful.\n\nKaren Covy Host32:56\n\nYeah, that is really beautiful because I think you're right, I mean negative. We judge even our emotions and as long as you're in judgment mode, it's really hard to accept, as you said, that we can be both, that there's an unattractive side to everybody, there's a dark side, a shadow side to everyone, and that's okay.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest33:24\n\nAnd when you can love all of that, all the imperfection, all the ickiness, but also the beauty, now you can really honor who you are, not just part of you, not just the part that looks good and shiny and pretty, but the cracks, the scars, the scratches, the wounds, all of it. Because that's who we are and I would say that for most of my life I always wondered why bad things had happened to me. You know, my dad leaving. I was bullied a lot as a child and I always wondered why. Why me?\n\n34:03\n\nBecause I was this bright light, this really positive energy, and now, standing where I'm standing, at 47 years old, doing what I do, I now finally get it that I was given all these experiences of life to prepare me to be the kind of person that does extraordinary things with other people's lives, and I could not do what I do had I not experienced all the things that we experienced. So my point is take the challenges of life, those hardships, and look at them as gifts. Look at them as proof that we are unstoppable, that no matter what happens in our life, we will always rise. And in the moment of darkness it doesn't feel like that, but for me I always have to remind myself tomorrow is another day and failure is not fatal.\n\nKaren Covy Host35:02\n\nBeautiful words of wisdom for anyone, and I think we've sort of brought it around full circle. And, you know, what's important for people to hear is that all of this is possible, that we live in a world of possibility, and sometimes it might. You know, you might need someone else a coach, maybe a therapist, maybe someone else to help you see those possibilities. But just because you might not see them on your own right now from where you sit, doesn't mean they don't exist. You just need a little help bringing them out. And, Jeanell, it sounds like you are the perfect person to do that for your clients. Yes, thank you.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest35:46\n\nThank you.\n\nKaren Covy Host35:47\n\nSo let's wrap this up here and say you know, I just want to ask you, if people are interested in working with you, if they want to know more about you and what you do, where can they find you?\n\nJeanell Greene Guest35:58\n\nYes, and they can find me best places to check out my website, and that is saveourmarriage.ca. That's probably the best way.\n\nKaren Covy Host36:10\n\nJeanell, thank you so much for sharing your story, your words of wisdom, everything that you shared on this podcast. I really appreciate it.\n\nJeanell Greene Guest\n\nThank you, Karen.\n\nKaren Covy Host\n\nIt's great to be with you and for all of you out there listening. If you liked what you heard. If you want to hear more podcast episodes like this, I encourage you. Please give this episode a thumbs up, like, subscribe and share, and I'll talk to you again next time.", "type": "text", "version": 1}]}], "direction": null}}